Who told Kim Kardashian she was capable of anything besides making the same exact face in every picture (seriously, look at her expression) and banging Ray J on camera? More specifically, who told her she should make an album? Her new single dropped yesterday, and sweet baby Jesus it's terrible.
Like worst song of the year bad. I read that she used Auto-Tune, but it just sounds like she is sexlessly mumbling some mindnumbingly awful lyrics Repeating the same fifteen words over and over again worked in an ironic way for the Ramones. In this song, it's just wretched. Now I know this is a stretch, but music/art is supposed to be an expression of the self and your view of the world. This is what Kim Kardashian wants everyone to know is what the essence of her personality and life is? "They're playing my jam"? A few thoughts: 1.) If you've never sang, written a song, or played an instrument, your late 20s are not the time for a music career. 2.) If you can't write your own songs and the people writing them for you can't make you sound interesting, you should undertake some serious soul searching. 3.) Just because you have the time and money to make an album doesn't mean you should. This song is an even worse idea than the Kardashian Kredit Kard.
Changing gears, Charlie Sheen needs to be institutionalized. It's not even a matter of being a drug addict, since he is only addicted to Charlie Sheen. Seriously, this dude is crazy as hell. The Goddesses? Winning? He's off his rocker. He's like Tom Cruise, but heterosexual and completely unfiltered and trashy. It's hard to believe he's Martin Sheen's son. I did find it hilarious when the Today Show asked him if it was true that he threatened to chop off his ex-wife's head and mail it to her mother. His answer was "No, but that's a good one." It does make me wonder how fucked up his ex-wife is that he had custody of the kids until the other nite.
Before conservatives take credit for Egypt, Tunisia, and Libya, let's get one thing straight. This is not the Bush Doctrine in action. The uprisings across the Middle East were going to happen either way. Look at the demographics of the region. In Egypt, the average age is 25. Libya is 24. Iran, two thirds are under 30 and a quarter is under 15. Forty percent of Iraqis are under 14. When you factor that in with old dictator after old dictator and cronyism in economies with no jobs, of course you are going to get protests. This has nothing to do with people being emboldened by the Iraqi experience. Let's not be so "AMERICA FUCK YEAH!" and be realistic. The rest of the Middle East hated the US for the war in Iraq and their governments for supporting it. Not to mention, there isn't even a real democracy in Iraq. This was bound to happen with younger people who want to do better than they are right now and don't have the opportunity to do so.
What is really surprising is that these protests run counter to hundreds of years of history. The Ottoman Empire, Saddam Hussein, Nasser through Mubarak, the Assad family, Shah of Iran, Supreme Council in Iran, the Saudi royal family, and Gadafhi. All are dictators and oppressive regimes. When Saddam was toppled in Iraq, the Iraqis were saying that Saddam was a bad guy and they hated him, but at least he kept order. Order and stability have been the hallmarks of the governments in the Middle East. That is why what is going on is so fascinating. This never happens in the Middle East. The media should be talking more about that, and less about stupid shit like the royal wedding.
Which reminds me, who in America gives a fuck about the royal wedding? And why? At the risk of sounding like a Republican, we didn't fight a war to still be worshipping the royal family of England! But seriously, they aren't our royal family so why does it matter? Americans don't watch every other nation's royal weddings, so why are Britain's so important? And the thing that really gets me is that America has a President that you always hear is supposed to be respected and treated like the highest official in the country, but you get morons saying that the President wasn't born in the country and was raised in Kenya and hates America. I'm not saying everybody has to like the President or agree with him. I'm just saying that people in America think that the royal family is something special and not just a product of inbreeding. Hey, why else would they all be hemophiliacs?
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Greatest Rolling Stones Songs, 90-81
Welcome back to the next installment in the 100 greatest Rolling Stones songs. I know I said that this part would be up within 24 hours of the last, but a shitty meeting at my shitty job blocked that from happening. That, and dinner, and a trip to the gym. But with that being said, let's get down to brass tacks and keep this going.
90.) The Worst: 1994, Voodoo Lounge: An acoustic Keith ballad. Very much a jazz/country style tune, if that makes sense.
89.) Look What The Cat Dragged In: 2005, A Bigger Bang: From their most recent album, the riff reminds me of the INXS song "Need You Tonight." A pretty uptempo song where Mick mocks someone for getting wasted. The irony is incredible.
88.) Rough Justice: 2005, A Bigger Bang: The lead single off the album. It sounds a lot like "Brown Sugar" and the lyrics are a little silly, but it showed that the band could still rock.
87.) Connection: 1966, Between the Buttons: Keith's earliest lead vocal performance with the band. Reminiscent of a Buddy Holly tune. Keith actually does a better job of it on his solo album with the X-Pensive Winos.
86.) Oh No Not You Again: 2005, A Bigger Bang: Another rocker off this album. Features the great lyric: Everybody's talking/Showing off their wits/The moon is yellow/My eyes are Jello/Staring down your tits
85.) Suck On The Jugular: 1994, Voodoo Lounge: A tasty little funk jam, with some sweet backup vocals from Lisa Fischer. The song doesn't really go anywhere, but I dig the groove and the vocals.
84.) Crackin' Up: 1977, Love You Live: The only song taken off a live album, it is an old blues cover. Great energy, great performance.
83.) Short and Curlies: 1974, It's Only Rock 'n Roll: A mid-tempo boogie woogie song about a woman who has control of a man. It's a fun little sing-a-long.
82.) Star Star: 1973, Goats Head Soup: Better known as "Starfucker," it has a Chuck Berry riff and lyrics making fun of Hollywood society. Live versions used to feature a giant inflatable penis onstage behind Jagger.
81.) She Was Hot: 1983, Undercover: Probably the only song on the list from this album. A good little rocker about a hot chick (obviously). One of the better songs from the Stones in the 1980s. It sounds awesome on the Shine A Light soundtrack.
That's it until tomorrow.
90.) The Worst: 1994, Voodoo Lounge: An acoustic Keith ballad. Very much a jazz/country style tune, if that makes sense.
89.) Look What The Cat Dragged In: 2005, A Bigger Bang: From their most recent album, the riff reminds me of the INXS song "Need You Tonight." A pretty uptempo song where Mick mocks someone for getting wasted. The irony is incredible.
88.) Rough Justice: 2005, A Bigger Bang: The lead single off the album. It sounds a lot like "Brown Sugar" and the lyrics are a little silly, but it showed that the band could still rock.
87.) Connection: 1966, Between the Buttons: Keith's earliest lead vocal performance with the band. Reminiscent of a Buddy Holly tune. Keith actually does a better job of it on his solo album with the X-Pensive Winos.
86.) Oh No Not You Again: 2005, A Bigger Bang: Another rocker off this album. Features the great lyric: Everybody's talking/Showing off their wits/The moon is yellow/My eyes are Jello/Staring down your tits
85.) Suck On The Jugular: 1994, Voodoo Lounge: A tasty little funk jam, with some sweet backup vocals from Lisa Fischer. The song doesn't really go anywhere, but I dig the groove and the vocals.
84.) Crackin' Up: 1977, Love You Live: The only song taken off a live album, it is an old blues cover. Great energy, great performance.
83.) Short and Curlies: 1974, It's Only Rock 'n Roll: A mid-tempo boogie woogie song about a woman who has control of a man. It's a fun little sing-a-long.
82.) Star Star: 1973, Goats Head Soup: Better known as "Starfucker," it has a Chuck Berry riff and lyrics making fun of Hollywood society. Live versions used to feature a giant inflatable penis onstage behind Jagger.
81.) She Was Hot: 1983, Undercover: Probably the only song on the list from this album. A good little rocker about a hot chick (obviously). One of the better songs from the Stones in the 1980s. It sounds awesome on the Shine A Light soundtrack.
That's it until tomorrow.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Greatest Rolling Stones Songs, 100-91
This is my first update to this blog since October of 2010. Since then, a lot of shit has gone down. I decided (again) that I am going to try to update this more often. I usually have too many things that I wanna put here, but I don't want everything to get bogged down with basketball stories or MMA pieces. So, with the help of my brother, we have a new blog site devoted to MMA, the NBA, and the occasional wrestling story: Black Belt Basketball. That can be accessed here.
With all that stuff going to the new blog, what can be found here? Politics occasionally, if I can write about that stuff without my head exploding. Movie reviews, album reviews most likely. More lists, like the unfinished top 50 manliest dudes alive. I'll most likely finish that, as the list was completed well before I began to type it up in this blog, but I decided I was tired of that. Instead, there will be another list.
As of right now, I am reading Keith Richards' autobiography, Life. In honor of that, I decided to compile a list of the top 100 Rolling Stones songs. They are ranked in descending order. I'm going to keep the entries short, so as to finish this list and move on. I'll note what album they can be found on, year recorded, why its a great song. So without further ado, let's get it started.
100.) Baby, Break it Down: 1994, Voodoo Lounge: This is a fairly underrated album and this song is a hidden gem. A good midtempo blues melody and a pretty good vocal track from Jagger. After the dreck of the 80s, the Stones get back to basics and it works.
99.) Gotta Get Away: 1965, Out of Our Heads (UK), December's Children (USA): A good Motown meets early Stones blues rock song. Love the distortion on the guitar and Jagger's vocals. Was very tempted to rank it higher.
98.) Blinded By Rainbows: 1994, Voodoo Lounge: A ballad, very heavy on religious imagery. I've always loved Jagger's vocals on this and the band settles into a nice slow melody.
97.) She Said Yeah: 1965, Out of Your Heads (UK), December's Children (USA): A very short rocker from the early days, it is also a cover of a rockabilly song performed by Larry Williams. A pretty cool song while it lasts.
96.) Casino Boogie: 1972, Exile on Main Street: A midtempo Delta blues number. Keith and Mick do a pretty sweet job harmonizing throughout this one and Bobby Keys lays down some nasty sax on it.
95.) Dancing With Mr. D: 1973, Goats Head Soup: A rocker off the forgotten follow-up to Exile. Vintage Keith riff, but also pretty 70s glam. Don't love Jagger's vocals on it, but the band is grooving in a way that only the Stones at their best can do.
94.) Saint of Me: 1997, Bridges to Babylon: I always enjoyed the lyrics, but I don't love Jagger's vocals on the studio version. Live versions are much better. Also, don't like the fact there's no Keith on this. Still, it is a pretty good song,
93.) Route 66: 1964, England's Newest Hitmakers: A cover song off their first LP. A good rhythm and blues number, and a lot of energy from the band.
92.) Dance Little Sister: 1974, It's Only Rock 'n Roll: Very much a Chuck Berry influenced number, the band rocks a pretty tight groove. One of the last rockers in this vein that the Stones do for quite some time.
91.) Hot Stuff: 1976, Black and Blue: A hard one to describe. A weird disco/funk jam with some pretty nasty lead guitar from some dude named Harvey Mandel. Jagger's vocals and lyrics are a bit strange, but the groove to this song is pretty sick. Sounds like no other Stones song in their catalog.
I'll be checking in with numbers 90-81 very soon. Like next 24 hours.
With all that stuff going to the new blog, what can be found here? Politics occasionally, if I can write about that stuff without my head exploding. Movie reviews, album reviews most likely. More lists, like the unfinished top 50 manliest dudes alive. I'll most likely finish that, as the list was completed well before I began to type it up in this blog, but I decided I was tired of that. Instead, there will be another list.
As of right now, I am reading Keith Richards' autobiography, Life. In honor of that, I decided to compile a list of the top 100 Rolling Stones songs. They are ranked in descending order. I'm going to keep the entries short, so as to finish this list and move on. I'll note what album they can be found on, year recorded, why its a great song. So without further ado, let's get it started.
100.) Baby, Break it Down: 1994, Voodoo Lounge: This is a fairly underrated album and this song is a hidden gem. A good midtempo blues melody and a pretty good vocal track from Jagger. After the dreck of the 80s, the Stones get back to basics and it works.
99.) Gotta Get Away: 1965, Out of Our Heads (UK), December's Children (USA): A good Motown meets early Stones blues rock song. Love the distortion on the guitar and Jagger's vocals. Was very tempted to rank it higher.
98.) Blinded By Rainbows: 1994, Voodoo Lounge: A ballad, very heavy on religious imagery. I've always loved Jagger's vocals on this and the band settles into a nice slow melody.
97.) She Said Yeah: 1965, Out of Your Heads (UK), December's Children (USA): A very short rocker from the early days, it is also a cover of a rockabilly song performed by Larry Williams. A pretty cool song while it lasts.
96.) Casino Boogie: 1972, Exile on Main Street: A midtempo Delta blues number. Keith and Mick do a pretty sweet job harmonizing throughout this one and Bobby Keys lays down some nasty sax on it.
95.) Dancing With Mr. D: 1973, Goats Head Soup: A rocker off the forgotten follow-up to Exile. Vintage Keith riff, but also pretty 70s glam. Don't love Jagger's vocals on it, but the band is grooving in a way that only the Stones at their best can do.
94.) Saint of Me: 1997, Bridges to Babylon: I always enjoyed the lyrics, but I don't love Jagger's vocals on the studio version. Live versions are much better. Also, don't like the fact there's no Keith on this. Still, it is a pretty good song,
93.) Route 66: 1964, England's Newest Hitmakers: A cover song off their first LP. A good rhythm and blues number, and a lot of energy from the band.
92.) Dance Little Sister: 1974, It's Only Rock 'n Roll: Very much a Chuck Berry influenced number, the band rocks a pretty tight groove. One of the last rockers in this vein that the Stones do for quite some time.
91.) Hot Stuff: 1976, Black and Blue: A hard one to describe. A weird disco/funk jam with some pretty nasty lead guitar from some dude named Harvey Mandel. Jagger's vocals and lyrics are a bit strange, but the groove to this song is pretty sick. Sounds like no other Stones song in their catalog.
I'll be checking in with numbers 90-81 very soon. Like next 24 hours.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Fifty Manliest Dudes Alive, Part Two
You can either scroll down or click here to read (or reread) Part One. With that out of the way, let's get down to it.
40.) Tommy Lee Jones [Actor]: Tommy Lee Jones is an Academy Award winning actor courtesy of The Fugitive. He should have won another one for U.S. Marshals, but there is no justice in Hollywood. He also did an awesome job voicing Chip Hazzard in the classic film Small Soldiers, which featured the voice talents of two people who also made this list. He was also Al Gore's roommate at Harvard, where he was a star offensive tackle back when football was really manly and graduated cum laude. The main reason he makes the list (besides the aforementioned U.S. Marshals) is the combination of his pockmarked, bulldoglike face and the sweetest voice that doesn't belong to Bill Pullman.
39.) Ernest Borgnine [Actor]: Ernest Borgnine appears in three of the manliest movies of all-time - The Dirty Dozen, The Wild Bunch, and Escape From New York. He is also 93 years old, which is rather impressive for a dude of his build and profession. How has he made it this long? Well, his answer to that question is possibly the manliest one ever given. Watch and learn.
38.) Charlie Sheen [Actor/convict]: Charlie Sheen is currently the highest paid actor on tv, making over a million bucks an episode for Two and a Half Men, a "comedy" on CBS. The fact that he can command that much for that show is reason enough to put him on the list. He also has quite the list of both sexual conquests and arrests. I mean seriously, the lists for both are staggering. He also is a Truther, which is pretty neat. Charlie is a pretty serious scumbag, as anyone who beats his wife/buys hookers regularly/shoots cocaine is. Despite that, he has some charisma. He was obviously the bad guy in his divorce with Denise Richards, yet he somehow came out of it as the sympathetic one. Charlie Sheen is completely ridiculous.
37.) Chuck Palahniuk [Author]: Chuck Palahniuk is the author of Fight Club, Choke, and Haunted. His books are some of the manliest around. Fight Club, in particular the character Tyler Durden, set the standard for what masculinity looked and acted like for a solid decade. How many imitation "fight clubs" were set up idiot dudes after the book and movie were released? The best part of Chuck Palahniuk being responsible for that is the fact that he is gay. Just goes to show that the creator of something manly and masculine doesn't have to be heterosexual. For that and the fact that his books are fucking awesome, he makes the list.
36.) Ron Perlman [Actor]: Ron Perlman is the modern day Lon Chaney; that is to say, he is the current era's "Man of 1,000 Faces." Right now he is on TV's manlest show, Sons of Anarchy, where he plays the leader of the Sons. Before that he played Hellboy in two awesome movies and was the Beauty in the old Beauty and the Beast TV show. With Linda Hamilton in that show, he certainly wasn't gonna play the Beast. He has also voiced Batman in a cartoon and has been in a bunch of other things where he has had to wear prosthetics. Ron makes the list because he is usually awesome in whatever he is in and his recent work has been pretty badass.
35.) Sean Connery [Actor]: Connery's inclusion on the list is obviously due to the fact he played James Bond perfectly. This was back when Bond could slap bitches, drink and smoke constantly, and be generally awesome. His James Bond set the standard for manliness for a couple generations of moviegoers until Jason Bourne went and ruined that. He was also awesome as Indiana Jones' dad and for saying, "You're the man now dog!" He probably would have been higher on the list, but Zardoz is inexcusable.
34.) Robert De Niro [Actor]: At one point, DeNiro was the greatest actor alive. Raging Bull and Taxi Driver both feature some of the greatest acting ever. He was scary as hell in Cape Fear and funny as hell in Jackie Brown. The dude became a cabbie for months to prep for Taxi Driver and put on a ton of weight to play Jake LaMotta in Raging Bull. He was also the best part of Godfather II. At some point in the late 1990s and early 200s, he either gave up on being an incredible actor or was just suddenly given shit roles by movie studios because he has not been particularly impressive in a movie since Cop Land. He makes the list because of all the reasons I mentioned. His drop-off hasn't been severe enough to ignore the prior thirty years of manliness.
33.) Mark Valley [Actor]: Mark Valley is the star of FOX's Human Target, which is the manliest show on network TV. He doesn't make the list just because of this. He makes it because he is a legitimate badass, having served in the Gulf War. After that he wrote a one man show about being in the military and segued that into a career in acting. Before becoming the man on Human Target, he was the second best part of Fringe behind the dude who plays Walter Bishop. His marriage last year to Anna Torv, the most annoying member of Fringe dropped him a bit, but his divorce to her this year is mildly redeeming.
32.) Mike Ness [Lead Singer, Social Distortion]: Mike Ness is the punk rock Springsteen. He's also the coolest mother fucker in the history of life. You really need to see Social Distortion live to realize this. Mike Ness and Social D are what Green Day and Rancid wished they could be. The only reason he isn't ranked higher is due to the fact that his cowboy hat look when he does his country singing side project is totally lame.
31.) Forrest Griffin [MMA Fighter, Author]: Forrest Griffin is one of the people responsible for the explosion of the UFC due to his stint on the first season of their reality show The Ultimate Fighter. He is also mental. His newest book is called Be Ready When the Shit Goes Down: A Survival Guide to the Apocalypse. He has also been known to state that he doesn't really get involved in his fights until he eats a punch or two to the face. He has a reputation for fighting people without really giving a shit about who it is or what happens to him. Like the Anderson Silva fight, if you want to call that a fight. Points off to Forrest for running out of the cage crying like a baby after this drubbing and hiding out for months afterwards. Understandable yes, manly no.
That does it for this installment. Part three should be up in the near future.
40.) Tommy Lee Jones [Actor]: Tommy Lee Jones is an Academy Award winning actor courtesy of The Fugitive. He should have won another one for U.S. Marshals, but there is no justice in Hollywood. He also did an awesome job voicing Chip Hazzard in the classic film Small Soldiers, which featured the voice talents of two people who also made this list. He was also Al Gore's roommate at Harvard, where he was a star offensive tackle back when football was really manly and graduated cum laude. The main reason he makes the list (besides the aforementioned U.S. Marshals) is the combination of his pockmarked, bulldoglike face and the sweetest voice that doesn't belong to Bill Pullman.
39.) Ernest Borgnine [Actor]: Ernest Borgnine appears in three of the manliest movies of all-time - The Dirty Dozen, The Wild Bunch, and Escape From New York. He is also 93 years old, which is rather impressive for a dude of his build and profession. How has he made it this long? Well, his answer to that question is possibly the manliest one ever given. Watch and learn.
38.) Charlie Sheen [Actor/convict]: Charlie Sheen is currently the highest paid actor on tv, making over a million bucks an episode for Two and a Half Men, a "comedy" on CBS. The fact that he can command that much for that show is reason enough to put him on the list. He also has quite the list of both sexual conquests and arrests. I mean seriously, the lists for both are staggering. He also is a Truther, which is pretty neat. Charlie is a pretty serious scumbag, as anyone who beats his wife/buys hookers regularly/shoots cocaine is. Despite that, he has some charisma. He was obviously the bad guy in his divorce with Denise Richards, yet he somehow came out of it as the sympathetic one. Charlie Sheen is completely ridiculous.
37.) Chuck Palahniuk [Author]: Chuck Palahniuk is the author of Fight Club, Choke, and Haunted. His books are some of the manliest around. Fight Club, in particular the character Tyler Durden, set the standard for what masculinity looked and acted like for a solid decade. How many imitation "fight clubs" were set up idiot dudes after the book and movie were released? The best part of Chuck Palahniuk being responsible for that is the fact that he is gay. Just goes to show that the creator of something manly and masculine doesn't have to be heterosexual. For that and the fact that his books are fucking awesome, he makes the list.
36.) Ron Perlman [Actor]: Ron Perlman is the modern day Lon Chaney; that is to say, he is the current era's "Man of 1,000 Faces." Right now he is on TV's manlest show, Sons of Anarchy, where he plays the leader of the Sons. Before that he played Hellboy in two awesome movies and was the Beauty in the old Beauty and the Beast TV show. With Linda Hamilton in that show, he certainly wasn't gonna play the Beast. He has also voiced Batman in a cartoon and has been in a bunch of other things where he has had to wear prosthetics. Ron makes the list because he is usually awesome in whatever he is in and his recent work has been pretty badass.
35.) Sean Connery [Actor]: Connery's inclusion on the list is obviously due to the fact he played James Bond perfectly. This was back when Bond could slap bitches, drink and smoke constantly, and be generally awesome. His James Bond set the standard for manliness for a couple generations of moviegoers until Jason Bourne went and ruined that. He was also awesome as Indiana Jones' dad and for saying, "You're the man now dog!" He probably would have been higher on the list, but Zardoz is inexcusable.
34.) Robert De Niro [Actor]: At one point, DeNiro was the greatest actor alive. Raging Bull and Taxi Driver both feature some of the greatest acting ever. He was scary as hell in Cape Fear and funny as hell in Jackie Brown. The dude became a cabbie for months to prep for Taxi Driver and put on a ton of weight to play Jake LaMotta in Raging Bull. He was also the best part of Godfather II. At some point in the late 1990s and early 200s, he either gave up on being an incredible actor or was just suddenly given shit roles by movie studios because he has not been particularly impressive in a movie since Cop Land. He makes the list because of all the reasons I mentioned. His drop-off hasn't been severe enough to ignore the prior thirty years of manliness.
33.) Mark Valley [Actor]: Mark Valley is the star of FOX's Human Target, which is the manliest show on network TV. He doesn't make the list just because of this. He makes it because he is a legitimate badass, having served in the Gulf War. After that he wrote a one man show about being in the military and segued that into a career in acting. Before becoming the man on Human Target, he was the second best part of Fringe behind the dude who plays Walter Bishop. His marriage last year to Anna Torv, the most annoying member of Fringe dropped him a bit, but his divorce to her this year is mildly redeeming.
32.) Mike Ness [Lead Singer, Social Distortion]: Mike Ness is the punk rock Springsteen. He's also the coolest mother fucker in the history of life. You really need to see Social Distortion live to realize this. Mike Ness and Social D are what Green Day and Rancid wished they could be. The only reason he isn't ranked higher is due to the fact that his cowboy hat look when he does his country singing side project is totally lame.
31.) Forrest Griffin [MMA Fighter, Author]: Forrest Griffin is one of the people responsible for the explosion of the UFC due to his stint on the first season of their reality show The Ultimate Fighter. He is also mental. His newest book is called Be Ready When the Shit Goes Down: A Survival Guide to the Apocalypse. He has also been known to state that he doesn't really get involved in his fights until he eats a punch or two to the face. He has a reputation for fighting people without really giving a shit about who it is or what happens to him. Like the Anderson Silva fight, if you want to call that a fight. Points off to Forrest for running out of the cage crying like a baby after this drubbing and hiding out for months afterwards. Understandable yes, manly no.
That does it for this installment. Part three should be up in the near future.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Fifty Manliest Dudes Alive, Part One
Greetings readers, and welcome to my first blog post in almost four months. Rather than give some lameass excuses as to why I so infrequently update this, let's just get right into the blogging. As you can probably guess by the title, I am going to present the Fifty Manliest Dudes Alive. There are a few qualifications for this list, which are as follows:
1.) The person has to be male.
2.) The person has to be alive.
3.) The person has to be manly and not someone who wishes he was manly, so you won't see Quentin Tarantino or anyone like that here.
With that out of the way, let's start it up with our number 50 dude.
50.) Kurt Sutter [Writer]: Kurt Sutter makes the list for being the creator, executive producer of and lead writer for Sons of Anarchy, as well as a staff writer and producer on The Shield. For those that are not in the know, those are easily the two manliest shows on television in the past decade and the fact that he has had a hand in both shows means he must be at least a little bit manly. Also, he is married to Katey Sagal, who you might know better as Peg Bundy on Married With Children. How fucking sweet is that?
49.) Katsumi Yamada [Ninja Warrior Legend]: Katsumi Yamada is a regular contestant on the Japanese game show Ninja Warrior, which is like that ABC show Wipeout, but grueling and manly. On the show, there are four absurd obstacle course stages to clear in order to win the show. In it's history, the course has only been completed a few times. Yamada has competed in 23 Ninja Warrior competitions and has never won. It his life goal to win the show. He takes it so seriously that when the factory he worked at was shut down, he built his own fucking Ninja Warrior course so he can practice all year round in the hopes of winning. After devoting his life and time to Ninja Warrior and not finding a new career, his family disowned him. He once said, "For me there is nothing else except [Ninja Warrior]." For all that, he is called "Mr. Ninja Warrior" and has to be on this list.
48.) Tarmo Mitt [World's Strongest Man Legend]: Tarmo Mitt is owner of one of the manliest names on the list and is the only Estonian to make it. He was a top ten finisher in the always manly World's Strongest Man Competition from 2005-2008. He never won the contest, but he was a regular in the contest and his name is fucking Tarmo Mitt. That's a sweet name and he is a sweet dude.
47.) Elmore Leonard [Author]: Elmore Leonard is one of the foremost writers of pulp/mystery/crime novels over the course of the last fifty years. The following movies/TV shows have been made out of his books - Jackie Brown, Out of Sight, 3:10 to Yuma, Justified, Killshot, Mr. Majestyk, Get Shorty, Be Cool, The Big Bounce, Hombre, and Joe Kidd. These have featured such manly dudes as Clint Eastwood, Paul Newman, Charlie Sheen, Harvey Keitel, Charles Bronson, Gene Hackman, Timothy Olyphant, Mickey Rourke, Robert Forster, Christian Bale, and Mickey Rourke. Most of his books are pretty awesome and even though he is 85, he continues to put out a book or two a year. Not bad for an old man.
46.) Nikki Sixx [Bassist, Motley Crue]: Nikki Sixx wasn't going to make my list originally, as he is a bit of a lunkhead, hooked up with Kat Von D, and his non-Crue side projects suck. I decided he had to make it just because of the fact he was declared legally dead for two minutes after he ODed on heroin. It took two shots of adrenaline to bring him back to life, then when he went back home he shot up again, passed out with the needle in his arm and decided he had a drug problem after waking up in a pool of his own blood. It's also the impetus for him writing "Kickstart My Heart." What a sweet story.
45.) Ace Frehley [Former lead guitarist, KISS]: Ace Frehley is the all-time best member of KISS, both in terms of talent and awesomeness. In 1978, each KISS member made a solo album and his was by far the best. He also wrote the most rocking songs of the KISS catalog. His song "Shock Me" was written when he grabbed a rail on the KISS stage, was electrocuted, and almost died. He quit the band in 1982 after they decided to make a lame concept album, then quit again in 2000 when he decided Gene and Paul suck and it was time to put KISS out of its misery. He also took part in one of the greatest interviews of alltime with Tom Snyder. He makes the list because he is an awesome guitarist and all around awesome dude.
44.) Steve Nash [Point Guard, Phoenix Suns]: Steve Nash is the best Canadian player in NBA history and quite possibly the funniest. He is responsible for making basketball fun and exciting again starting in the mid-2ooos. He is also one of the toughest dudes in the modern era of the NBA. I have seen him get bodychecked into a scorer's table, elbowed in the teeth hard enough to lose one, headbutted in the nose so hard his face looked like a crime scene, and elbowed in the eye hard enough to swell it shut immediately. Each time, he hopped right back up and got right into the game again. He is one of the most intense competitors in the league, it is just too bad that his team has been a bunch of wimps over the years and don't back him up whenever he gets roughed up.
43.) Ray Lewis [Linebacker, Baltimore Ravens]: Ray Lewis has been one of the best linebackers in the NFL for a long-ass time now. He is the only linebacker to win the Super Bowl MVP and people are generally scared of him on and off the field. This ties into why I am not ranking him higher. He may or may not have killed someone. Can't get behind that. There's a line between manly and crazy and killing does in fact cross that line.
42.) Kurt Angle [Wrestler]: Kurt Angle is a 1996 gold medalist from the Olympics in wrestling and is one of the more successful pro wrestlers of the last decade. He is also one of the toughest and craziest dudes in wrestling history. First, he won the aforementioned gold medal while having a broken neck. While in the WWF/E, he was one of the most popular performers and one of the most skilled. He also rebroke his neck a handful of times to the point where he probably should have stopped working matches. This didn't stop him and before he was fired by WWE, he worked a match while suffering a neck injury, broken rib and strained hamstring all at the same time. He then failed wellness tests for steroids and had a pretty major painkiller problem. When he refused to take time off to rehabilitate, the WWE fired him. He claims that he quit because WWE wouldn't give him time off. He now wrestles in the wasteland that is TNA Wrestling. All in all, Kurt Angle is one intense, scary mofo.
41.) Magnus ver Magnusson [World's Strongest Man]: One reason he makes the list is due to the fact that he has the single manliest/awesome name in the history of humankind. Unlike Tarmo Mitt, he is a winner. He won four of the World's Strongest Man competition, second most of alltime. He also was once on The Daily Show. I don't know much else about him, but between the name and his accomplishments, he is pretty goddamn manly. Seriously, how about that fucking name?
1.) The person has to be male.
2.) The person has to be alive.
3.) The person has to be manly and not someone who wishes he was manly, so you won't see Quentin Tarantino or anyone like that here.
With that out of the way, let's start it up with our number 50 dude.
50.) Kurt Sutter [Writer]: Kurt Sutter makes the list for being the creator, executive producer of and lead writer for Sons of Anarchy, as well as a staff writer and producer on The Shield. For those that are not in the know, those are easily the two manliest shows on television in the past decade and the fact that he has had a hand in both shows means he must be at least a little bit manly. Also, he is married to Katey Sagal, who you might know better as Peg Bundy on Married With Children. How fucking sweet is that?
49.) Katsumi Yamada [Ninja Warrior Legend]: Katsumi Yamada is a regular contestant on the Japanese game show Ninja Warrior, which is like that ABC show Wipeout, but grueling and manly. On the show, there are four absurd obstacle course stages to clear in order to win the show. In it's history, the course has only been completed a few times. Yamada has competed in 23 Ninja Warrior competitions and has never won. It his life goal to win the show. He takes it so seriously that when the factory he worked at was shut down, he built his own fucking Ninja Warrior course so he can practice all year round in the hopes of winning. After devoting his life and time to Ninja Warrior and not finding a new career, his family disowned him. He once said, "For me there is nothing else except [Ninja Warrior]." For all that, he is called "Mr. Ninja Warrior" and has to be on this list.
48.) Tarmo Mitt [World's Strongest Man Legend]: Tarmo Mitt is owner of one of the manliest names on the list and is the only Estonian to make it. He was a top ten finisher in the always manly World's Strongest Man Competition from 2005-2008. He never won the contest, but he was a regular in the contest and his name is fucking Tarmo Mitt. That's a sweet name and he is a sweet dude.
47.) Elmore Leonard [Author]: Elmore Leonard is one of the foremost writers of pulp/mystery/crime novels over the course of the last fifty years. The following movies/TV shows have been made out of his books - Jackie Brown, Out of Sight, 3:10 to Yuma, Justified, Killshot, Mr. Majestyk, Get Shorty, Be Cool, The Big Bounce, Hombre, and Joe Kidd. These have featured such manly dudes as Clint Eastwood, Paul Newman, Charlie Sheen, Harvey Keitel, Charles Bronson, Gene Hackman, Timothy Olyphant, Mickey Rourke, Robert Forster, Christian Bale, and Mickey Rourke. Most of his books are pretty awesome and even though he is 85, he continues to put out a book or two a year. Not bad for an old man.
46.) Nikki Sixx [Bassist, Motley Crue]: Nikki Sixx wasn't going to make my list originally, as he is a bit of a lunkhead, hooked up with Kat Von D, and his non-Crue side projects suck. I decided he had to make it just because of the fact he was declared legally dead for two minutes after he ODed on heroin. It took two shots of adrenaline to bring him back to life, then when he went back home he shot up again, passed out with the needle in his arm and decided he had a drug problem after waking up in a pool of his own blood. It's also the impetus for him writing "Kickstart My Heart." What a sweet story.
45.) Ace Frehley [Former lead guitarist, KISS]: Ace Frehley is the all-time best member of KISS, both in terms of talent and awesomeness. In 1978, each KISS member made a solo album and his was by far the best. He also wrote the most rocking songs of the KISS catalog. His song "Shock Me" was written when he grabbed a rail on the KISS stage, was electrocuted, and almost died. He quit the band in 1982 after they decided to make a lame concept album, then quit again in 2000 when he decided Gene and Paul suck and it was time to put KISS out of its misery. He also took part in one of the greatest interviews of alltime with Tom Snyder. He makes the list because he is an awesome guitarist and all around awesome dude.
44.) Steve Nash [Point Guard, Phoenix Suns]: Steve Nash is the best Canadian player in NBA history and quite possibly the funniest. He is responsible for making basketball fun and exciting again starting in the mid-2ooos. He is also one of the toughest dudes in the modern era of the NBA. I have seen him get bodychecked into a scorer's table, elbowed in the teeth hard enough to lose one, headbutted in the nose so hard his face looked like a crime scene, and elbowed in the eye hard enough to swell it shut immediately. Each time, he hopped right back up and got right into the game again. He is one of the most intense competitors in the league, it is just too bad that his team has been a bunch of wimps over the years and don't back him up whenever he gets roughed up.
43.) Ray Lewis [Linebacker, Baltimore Ravens]: Ray Lewis has been one of the best linebackers in the NFL for a long-ass time now. He is the only linebacker to win the Super Bowl MVP and people are generally scared of him on and off the field. This ties into why I am not ranking him higher. He may or may not have killed someone. Can't get behind that. There's a line between manly and crazy and killing does in fact cross that line.
42.) Kurt Angle [Wrestler]: Kurt Angle is a 1996 gold medalist from the Olympics in wrestling and is one of the more successful pro wrestlers of the last decade. He is also one of the toughest and craziest dudes in wrestling history. First, he won the aforementioned gold medal while having a broken neck. While in the WWF/E, he was one of the most popular performers and one of the most skilled. He also rebroke his neck a handful of times to the point where he probably should have stopped working matches. This didn't stop him and before he was fired by WWE, he worked a match while suffering a neck injury, broken rib and strained hamstring all at the same time. He then failed wellness tests for steroids and had a pretty major painkiller problem. When he refused to take time off to rehabilitate, the WWE fired him. He claims that he quit because WWE wouldn't give him time off. He now wrestles in the wasteland that is TNA Wrestling. All in all, Kurt Angle is one intense, scary mofo.
41.) Magnus ver Magnusson [World's Strongest Man]: One reason he makes the list is due to the fact that he has the single manliest/awesome name in the history of humankind. Unlike Tarmo Mitt, he is a winner. He won four of the World's Strongest Man competition, second most of alltime. He also was once on The Daily Show. I don't know much else about him, but between the name and his accomplishments, he is pretty goddamn manly. Seriously, how about that fucking name?
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Hall of Shame: BP and NYS Legislature Edition
I haven't updated this in a while, so now is as good a time as any to carry forth with a new installment of the Hall of Shame. These are always pretty easy to write, as there are a lot of fucking assbags out there fucking everything up for the world (or at least for me). I had planned on starting my 100 greatest albums of all time blog, but my brother is not prepared for the massive joint undertaking. I do have some other things coming down the pipeline, but for now you will all have to settle for this. Speaking of pipeline, let's go to our first (and most obvious) inductee:
BP: Holy Mother of God, BP has fucked up big time. They have managed to ruin millions of lives and a significant portion of the world's environment. Then, they follow it up by doing nothing about it for weeks and when they finally start to get a plan to implement, they execute it poorly. There are 60,000 barrels of oil a day (!!) streaming into the Gulf of Mexico every day thanks to these guys. To make it even better, they have no idea how or why this happened. There was some serious criminal negligence in the creation and maintenance of this oil well, as well as a serious lack of oversight on the part of BP. What really gets me is that it has been nearly two months and they are just now starting to stem the flow of oil. Shouldn't there have been a plan in place before the well was even built that would cover this possibility? It is a rhetorical question, since the answer is "Yes!" Now, some of you might be saying, "Now Jimmy, no one could expect something like this would happen. How could they be prepared?" I would then tell you to read the article I linked to above. When the plans for the well were being put forth, the engineers warned that something like this could happen. On top of being criminal douchebags who have ruined the Gulf Coast for decades, their leaders are also inconsiderate pricks. Hayward, the dude who testified before the House (more on that later) today, as quoted the other day as saying "I want my life back" and that the spill wasn't a big deal because the gulf was "a very big ocean." Their other main executive, whose name I can't find right now, said, after having to put $20 billion into an account to cover claims, that "Obama cares about the small people. Oil companie s care about the small people." What an asshat. It isn't a matter of rich and poor, or important and small. BP has just made the Gulf Coast, an area still devastated from Katrina, an even bigger wasteland. On top of that, they are fucking up Canada too by throwing out indigenous people to drill in the tar sands. You can read a bit about it here. BP is ecologically and morally reckless and reprehensible and should have to pay the penalties for all the bad shit they've done. Of course, not all people feel that way, which brings me to the next inductee:
Rep. Joe Barton (Republican-Texas): This rotten piece of shit is on the House Energy and Commerce Committee, where BP's Hayward testified today. Barton had the unmitigated audacity to say to Hayward, and I quote directly: I'm ashamed of what happened in the White House yesterday. I think it is a tragedy of the first proportion that a private corporation can be subjected to what I would characterize as a shakedown, in this case, a $20 billion shakedown. What kind of an insensitive, out of touch goofball would say something so ridiculous about forcing a corporation to be responsible for the shit it's wrought on everyone, an action that the majority of Americans support? The kind of person that is the number one recipient in the House of funds from gas and oil companies, that's who. Yes indeed, good ole Joe Barton has received $100,470 in donations from big oil since 2009 and $1.4 million since 1990. That is the kind of person that would be more ashamed by an oil company being punished by the government than by an oil company ruining the Gulf Coast. And on top of that, it's fucking insane that he is on the Energy Committee. Actually, five of the top ten recipients of big oil money serve on this committee. Talk about a conflict of interest. No wonder renewable energy is going nowhere in this country, but I digress. Barton's comments were so out of line that even Republican nutbags Eric Cantor and John Boehner spoke out against him and reiterated the fact that BP is in the wrong and not the White House. Of course, just when I want to only single out one Republican and point out that the majority of them actually don't have their heads up their asses on this one, I read this quote by Georgia Republican Tom Price that the $20 billion fund "suggests that the Obama administration is hard at work exerting its brand of Chicago-style shakedown politics." Sigh.
At least, the US Congress isn't the only legislative body fucking up. I introduce you to our last inductee:
New York State Senate: Oddly enough, this has nothing to do with the fact that the budget is ten weeks past due and that they are the laughingstock of the political world every year. No no, this one has to do with their boneheaded treatment of mixed martial arts (MMA), or "ultimate fighting" as the less informed call it. It finally passed a bill that would make New York the 45th state to legalize MMA. Of course, it didn't pass without a fight with the vote going 32-26 without any rationalization across party or gender lines. First of all, "ultimate fighting" is not the name of the sport and calling it as such shows how out of touch the Senate is with the subject that they voted on. Democratic Senator Diane Savino "compared MMA to the days of the gladiators, when Christians and Jews were fed to the lions." Give me a fucking break! MMA is a legally sanctioned sport that does not allow low blows, eye gouging, knees and kicks to the head of a downed opponent, and unlike boxing does not have a standing eight count. That means that when a fighter is dazed or down on his back, the fight is over. He is not given eight seconds to regain his wits from the head trauma and expected to get back into it. Also, there is no lion feeding and no death to the loser. It is essentially a combination of wrestling and kickboxing. Whenever an event is run, it is sanctioned by the state athletic commission. It is not a no holds barred, barbaric sport. The people who compete in it are highly trained and highly disciplined and are no more bloodthirsty than a football player or boxer. On the other side of the aisle, Republican Bill Larkin made sure to point out that he will "be able to look at [his] grandchildren and say, 'I won't let you watch it on TV, and I didn't vote for it in Albany." He also made sure to state that the sport would become nothing more than a hoodlum training program. Good for you Bill, that you won't let your grandkids watch it. That's the beauty of freedom of choice. Don't watch it if you don't want. Just because you think it is barbaric doesn't mean that it is. Also, what kind of hoodlums are training MMA? Training kickboxing or wrestling or Brazilian jiu-jitsu is expensive and someone who practices it is most likely not going to be using it to act like a "hoodlum." For that matter, it is proven that kids or people who enroll in a martial art or some kind of extracurricular activity are LESS likely to become hoodlums. Not to mention, MMA training is already going on and there has been no change in crime because of it. This bill just means that it can be sanctioned and done safely, as opposed to bootleg amateur bouts that lead to injuries to people. Sanctioning it means that the UFC can come to NYC or Albany and run a show and bring in a shitton of revenue to the areas where a fight card occurs. At least Democrat Craig Johnson, who voted in favor of allowing MMA, pointed out that a lot of these people against it because of a fear of leading to a Reefer Madness like fall of humankind in New York also voted against microstamping semiautomatic weapons in order to cut down on gun crime. I could go on about this all day, but I feel as if I've gone on a bit too long.
That does it for this entry. I hope to update it again soon. Leave a comment on my facebook page or on this blog if you would like.
BP: Holy Mother of God, BP has fucked up big time. They have managed to ruin millions of lives and a significant portion of the world's environment. Then, they follow it up by doing nothing about it for weeks and when they finally start to get a plan to implement, they execute it poorly. There are 60,000 barrels of oil a day (!!) streaming into the Gulf of Mexico every day thanks to these guys. To make it even better, they have no idea how or why this happened. There was some serious criminal negligence in the creation and maintenance of this oil well, as well as a serious lack of oversight on the part of BP. What really gets me is that it has been nearly two months and they are just now starting to stem the flow of oil. Shouldn't there have been a plan in place before the well was even built that would cover this possibility? It is a rhetorical question, since the answer is "Yes!" Now, some of you might be saying, "Now Jimmy, no one could expect something like this would happen. How could they be prepared?" I would then tell you to read the article I linked to above. When the plans for the well were being put forth, the engineers warned that something like this could happen. On top of being criminal douchebags who have ruined the Gulf Coast for decades, their leaders are also inconsiderate pricks. Hayward, the dude who testified before the House (more on that later) today, as quoted the other day as saying "I want my life back" and that the spill wasn't a big deal because the gulf was "a very big ocean." Their other main executive, whose name I can't find right now, said, after having to put $20 billion into an account to cover claims, that "Obama cares about the small people. Oil companie s care about the small people." What an asshat. It isn't a matter of rich and poor, or important and small. BP has just made the Gulf Coast, an area still devastated from Katrina, an even bigger wasteland. On top of that, they are fucking up Canada too by throwing out indigenous people to drill in the tar sands. You can read a bit about it here. BP is ecologically and morally reckless and reprehensible and should have to pay the penalties for all the bad shit they've done. Of course, not all people feel that way, which brings me to the next inductee:
Rep. Joe Barton (Republican-Texas): This rotten piece of shit is on the House Energy and Commerce Committee, where BP's Hayward testified today. Barton had the unmitigated audacity to say to Hayward, and I quote directly: I'm ashamed of what happened in the White House yesterday. I think it is a tragedy of the first proportion that a private corporation can be subjected to what I would characterize as a shakedown, in this case, a $20 billion shakedown. What kind of an insensitive, out of touch goofball would say something so ridiculous about forcing a corporation to be responsible for the shit it's wrought on everyone, an action that the majority of Americans support? The kind of person that is the number one recipient in the House of funds from gas and oil companies, that's who. Yes indeed, good ole Joe Barton has received $100,470 in donations from big oil since 2009 and $1.4 million since 1990. That is the kind of person that would be more ashamed by an oil company being punished by the government than by an oil company ruining the Gulf Coast. And on top of that, it's fucking insane that he is on the Energy Committee. Actually, five of the top ten recipients of big oil money serve on this committee. Talk about a conflict of interest. No wonder renewable energy is going nowhere in this country, but I digress. Barton's comments were so out of line that even Republican nutbags Eric Cantor and John Boehner spoke out against him and reiterated the fact that BP is in the wrong and not the White House. Of course, just when I want to only single out one Republican and point out that the majority of them actually don't have their heads up their asses on this one, I read this quote by Georgia Republican Tom Price that the $20 billion fund "suggests that the Obama administration is hard at work exerting its brand of Chicago-style shakedown politics." Sigh.
At least, the US Congress isn't the only legislative body fucking up. I introduce you to our last inductee:
New York State Senate: Oddly enough, this has nothing to do with the fact that the budget is ten weeks past due and that they are the laughingstock of the political world every year. No no, this one has to do with their boneheaded treatment of mixed martial arts (MMA), or "ultimate fighting" as the less informed call it. It finally passed a bill that would make New York the 45th state to legalize MMA. Of course, it didn't pass without a fight with the vote going 32-26 without any rationalization across party or gender lines. First of all, "ultimate fighting" is not the name of the sport and calling it as such shows how out of touch the Senate is with the subject that they voted on. Democratic Senator Diane Savino "compared MMA to the days of the gladiators, when Christians and Jews were fed to the lions." Give me a fucking break! MMA is a legally sanctioned sport that does not allow low blows, eye gouging, knees and kicks to the head of a downed opponent, and unlike boxing does not have a standing eight count. That means that when a fighter is dazed or down on his back, the fight is over. He is not given eight seconds to regain his wits from the head trauma and expected to get back into it. Also, there is no lion feeding and no death to the loser. It is essentially a combination of wrestling and kickboxing. Whenever an event is run, it is sanctioned by the state athletic commission. It is not a no holds barred, barbaric sport. The people who compete in it are highly trained and highly disciplined and are no more bloodthirsty than a football player or boxer. On the other side of the aisle, Republican Bill Larkin made sure to point out that he will "be able to look at [his] grandchildren and say, 'I won't let you watch it on TV, and I didn't vote for it in Albany." He also made sure to state that the sport would become nothing more than a hoodlum training program. Good for you Bill, that you won't let your grandkids watch it. That's the beauty of freedom of choice. Don't watch it if you don't want. Just because you think it is barbaric doesn't mean that it is. Also, what kind of hoodlums are training MMA? Training kickboxing or wrestling or Brazilian jiu-jitsu is expensive and someone who practices it is most likely not going to be using it to act like a "hoodlum." For that matter, it is proven that kids or people who enroll in a martial art or some kind of extracurricular activity are LESS likely to become hoodlums. Not to mention, MMA training is already going on and there has been no change in crime because of it. This bill just means that it can be sanctioned and done safely, as opposed to bootleg amateur bouts that lead to injuries to people. Sanctioning it means that the UFC can come to NYC or Albany and run a show and bring in a shitton of revenue to the areas where a fight card occurs. At least Democrat Craig Johnson, who voted in favor of allowing MMA, pointed out that a lot of these people against it because of a fear of leading to a Reefer Madness like fall of humankind in New York also voted against microstamping semiautomatic weapons in order to cut down on gun crime. I could go on about this all day, but I feel as if I've gone on a bit too long.
That does it for this entry. I hope to update it again soon. Leave a comment on my facebook page or on this blog if you would like.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Lo-Fi NBA Finals Preview
Tonite, the NBA Finals begin on ABC, pitting the Los Angeles Lakers against the Boston Celtics. The Lakers got to the Finals by beating Phoenix in six games (like I predicted) and Boston upset the Orlando Magic in six games (in a series I thought Orlando would win in seven). This series is a rematch of the 2008 Finals, which featured Boston pummeling the Lakers over the course of six games and winning the last game by 39 points. The Lakers are coming in as the defending NBA champs and will be coming into this series with a homecourt advantage. The regular season saw both teams win once against each other by a point in each game.
The stories getting beaten to death right now in the media pertain to the Lakers, particularly the 2008 series, Pau Gasol, and Kobe Bryant. In 2008, Gasol and the Lakers were manhandled by Kevin Garnett and the much more physical Celtics. In the regular season the past two years, Pau has exorcised those demons by playing tougher and grittier against Boston and the Lakers added Ron Artest this season. I've read far too many articles in the last few days retelling of the beatdown the Lakers received in 2008 and how it motivates them now and how they want to erase the memories of that. It gets annoying having to hear about how this defeat two years ago consumes them, especially since they won the title last season. I would think that coming back to win the title the year after getting humbled would be the response to show how serious they are.
The Kobe stories revolve around him getting revenge on Boston, but they also go into something even more absurd. Several stories are about how this series will define Kobe Bryant's legacy. Evidently winning this series would make Kobe the greatest Laker of all time and put him right up with Michael Jordan as the greatest player of all time. First thing's first, if the Lakers win against Boston I think that one could argue Kobe as the greatest Laker. They would be wrong, as Magic Johnson is the greatest Laker of all time. He led the Lakers to five titles against more difficult competition, including two titles over Celtics teams that were amongst the best teams of all time. Kobe's first three titles came when he was a second fiddle to Shaq and last year's title was against an Orlando team that wouldn't last more than four games against any of the teams Magic's Lakers played against. To give credit where credit is due however, Kobe has been phenomenal this postseason and has put some of the best numbers in NBA history. I would say he is close to Magic and since he'll have had a longer career than Magic and ends his career with more championships, one would be hard pressed to say he is not the bes Laker of all time.
Second things second, these comparisons to Jordan are absurd. Jordan won six titles as the top dog of his team, has six Finals MVPs, five regular season MVPs, a Defensive Player of the Year award, was the first person to record 200 steals and 100 blocks in the same year (while leading the league in scoring), ten scoring titles, and is a transcendent, once in a lifetime athlete. Kobe is great, but he is not Michael Jordan. Even if he wins multiple more titles, he is no Michael. His first three came as second fiddle (like I said above). Jordan was a better defender and scorer, although Kobe is a better shooter. No one is as competitive and no one dominated the game like Jordan. Kobe is arguably the best player since Jordan and arguably the best right now. There was no arguing with Michael. He was the best while he played; there was no debate over that. I don't want to get further sidetracked from my main point, but Kobe is not and never will be as good or better than Michael Jordan, but thats not a diss on Kobe. No one will ever be as good as Jordan.
Now the story that should be getting more attention is the Celtics and this run to the Finals. Earlier this year, the Celtics almost dumped Ray Allen and gave up on competing for the title. Instead, they just went for it and have now beaten the top two teams in the NBA record wise in Cleveland and Orlando. The story that everyone is missing is that this is most likely the last time this team with this lineup will compete for a title. Kevin Garnett's knees are shot and has been noticeably limping this season. Ray Allen is a free agent and could potentially be leaving Boston. Rasheed Wallace is old and out of shape. Paul Pierce is starting to slow down as well. They weren't really expected to do anything in the playoffs this season after all the injuries and malaise that hit them in the second half of the season. Instead, they took it to Cleveland and managed to wear Orlando down, although by the end of the series they were looking pretty worse for wear.
Matchup wise, I'm intrigued by Ron Artest vs. Paul Pierce. Ron seems like the kind of hardnosed, physical defender that will either bully Pierce into a terrible series or will get so rough with his techniques that he will take himself out of the game. Pau Gasol and Garnett is another intriguing matchup, as Gasol at this point is the superior player, but there are few people who can match KG's intensity. Knowing that this could be his last time in the Finals should spur him to play as hard as possible. It will be interesting to see if Pau can keep up with that type of pressure. In the backcourt Kobe will have to work harder on defense this series, as Ray Allen is a bigger threat than anyone he's had to guard in the playoffs this year and he will also likely have to share duties guarding Rajon Rondo (who will eat Derek Fisher alive). Boston is also a much better defensive team than Phoenix and Utah, so some of those looks he has had won't be there. The Lakers and Celtics have a fairly even bench, as the Lakers have the best bench player in Lamar Odom, but Boston's Glen Davis and Rasheed Wallace are better than the rest of the Lakers bench.
When it comes down to it, I think that the Lakers have a healthier and better team than Boston right now. The Celtics really seemed to slow down by the end of the Orlando series and they had a lot of problems getting scores in the 4th quarters of many of the games, since Ray Allen doesn't get the ball enough and Rajon Rondo doesn't play as hard in the clutch because he doesn't want to brick his free throws. I think that it is a winnable series for Boston, but I think that the matchups slightly favor the Lakers. If Garnett isn't completely shot, Pierce doesn't get stifled by Artest, and Ray Allen keeps playing the way he has, Boston should be able to win this series. If Pau Gasol plays the way he is capable of and doesn't get punked out again and Lamar Odom doesn't disappear, the Lakers should win. I want the Celtics to win and I'll be rooting for them, but I think it will be the LAKERS in SIX.
The stories getting beaten to death right now in the media pertain to the Lakers, particularly the 2008 series, Pau Gasol, and Kobe Bryant. In 2008, Gasol and the Lakers were manhandled by Kevin Garnett and the much more physical Celtics. In the regular season the past two years, Pau has exorcised those demons by playing tougher and grittier against Boston and the Lakers added Ron Artest this season. I've read far too many articles in the last few days retelling of the beatdown the Lakers received in 2008 and how it motivates them now and how they want to erase the memories of that. It gets annoying having to hear about how this defeat two years ago consumes them, especially since they won the title last season. I would think that coming back to win the title the year after getting humbled would be the response to show how serious they are.
The Kobe stories revolve around him getting revenge on Boston, but they also go into something even more absurd. Several stories are about how this series will define Kobe Bryant's legacy. Evidently winning this series would make Kobe the greatest Laker of all time and put him right up with Michael Jordan as the greatest player of all time. First thing's first, if the Lakers win against Boston I think that one could argue Kobe as the greatest Laker. They would be wrong, as Magic Johnson is the greatest Laker of all time. He led the Lakers to five titles against more difficult competition, including two titles over Celtics teams that were amongst the best teams of all time. Kobe's first three titles came when he was a second fiddle to Shaq and last year's title was against an Orlando team that wouldn't last more than four games against any of the teams Magic's Lakers played against. To give credit where credit is due however, Kobe has been phenomenal this postseason and has put some of the best numbers in NBA history. I would say he is close to Magic and since he'll have had a longer career than Magic and ends his career with more championships, one would be hard pressed to say he is not the bes Laker of all time.
Second things second, these comparisons to Jordan are absurd. Jordan won six titles as the top dog of his team, has six Finals MVPs, five regular season MVPs, a Defensive Player of the Year award, was the first person to record 200 steals and 100 blocks in the same year (while leading the league in scoring), ten scoring titles, and is a transcendent, once in a lifetime athlete. Kobe is great, but he is not Michael Jordan. Even if he wins multiple more titles, he is no Michael. His first three came as second fiddle (like I said above). Jordan was a better defender and scorer, although Kobe is a better shooter. No one is as competitive and no one dominated the game like Jordan. Kobe is arguably the best player since Jordan and arguably the best right now. There was no arguing with Michael. He was the best while he played; there was no debate over that. I don't want to get further sidetracked from my main point, but Kobe is not and never will be as good or better than Michael Jordan, but thats not a diss on Kobe. No one will ever be as good as Jordan.
Now the story that should be getting more attention is the Celtics and this run to the Finals. Earlier this year, the Celtics almost dumped Ray Allen and gave up on competing for the title. Instead, they just went for it and have now beaten the top two teams in the NBA record wise in Cleveland and Orlando. The story that everyone is missing is that this is most likely the last time this team with this lineup will compete for a title. Kevin Garnett's knees are shot and has been noticeably limping this season. Ray Allen is a free agent and could potentially be leaving Boston. Rasheed Wallace is old and out of shape. Paul Pierce is starting to slow down as well. They weren't really expected to do anything in the playoffs this season after all the injuries and malaise that hit them in the second half of the season. Instead, they took it to Cleveland and managed to wear Orlando down, although by the end of the series they were looking pretty worse for wear.
Matchup wise, I'm intrigued by Ron Artest vs. Paul Pierce. Ron seems like the kind of hardnosed, physical defender that will either bully Pierce into a terrible series or will get so rough with his techniques that he will take himself out of the game. Pau Gasol and Garnett is another intriguing matchup, as Gasol at this point is the superior player, but there are few people who can match KG's intensity. Knowing that this could be his last time in the Finals should spur him to play as hard as possible. It will be interesting to see if Pau can keep up with that type of pressure. In the backcourt Kobe will have to work harder on defense this series, as Ray Allen is a bigger threat than anyone he's had to guard in the playoffs this year and he will also likely have to share duties guarding Rajon Rondo (who will eat Derek Fisher alive). Boston is also a much better defensive team than Phoenix and Utah, so some of those looks he has had won't be there. The Lakers and Celtics have a fairly even bench, as the Lakers have the best bench player in Lamar Odom, but Boston's Glen Davis and Rasheed Wallace are better than the rest of the Lakers bench.
When it comes down to it, I think that the Lakers have a healthier and better team than Boston right now. The Celtics really seemed to slow down by the end of the Orlando series and they had a lot of problems getting scores in the 4th quarters of many of the games, since Ray Allen doesn't get the ball enough and Rajon Rondo doesn't play as hard in the clutch because he doesn't want to brick his free throws. I think that it is a winnable series for Boston, but I think that the matchups slightly favor the Lakers. If Garnett isn't completely shot, Pierce doesn't get stifled by Artest, and Ray Allen keeps playing the way he has, Boston should be able to win this series. If Pau Gasol plays the way he is capable of and doesn't get punked out again and Lamar Odom doesn't disappear, the Lakers should win. I want the Celtics to win and I'll be rooting for them, but I think it will be the LAKERS in SIX.
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