Thursday, March 3, 2011

Kim Kardashian's "song" is terrible, Charlie Sheen, the Middle East is burning, and the Royal Wedding is a waste of time...

Who told Kim Kardashian she was capable of anything besides making the same exact face in every picture (seriously, look at her expression) and banging Ray J on camera?  More specifically, who told her she should make an album?  Her new single dropped yesterday, and sweet baby Jesus it's terrible.

Like worst song of the year bad.  I read that she used Auto-Tune, but it just sounds like she is sexlessly mumbling some mindnumbingly awful lyrics  Repeating the same fifteen words over and over again worked in an ironic way for the Ramones.  In this song, it's just wretched.  Now I know this is a stretch, but music/art is supposed to be an expression of the self and your view of the world.  This is what Kim Kardashian wants everyone to know is what the essence of her personality and life is?  "They're playing my jam"?  A few thoughts: 1.) If you've never sang, written a song, or played an instrument, your late 20s are not the time for a music career.  2.) If you can't write your own songs and the people writing them for you can't make you sound interesting, you should undertake some serious soul searching.  3.) Just because you have the time and money to make an album doesn't mean you should.  This song is an even worse idea than the Kardashian Kredit Kard.

Changing gears, Charlie Sheen needs to be institutionalized.  It's not even a matter of being a drug addict, since he is only addicted to Charlie Sheen.  Seriously, this dude is crazy as hell.  The Goddesses?  Winning?  He's off his rocker.  He's like Tom Cruise, but heterosexual and completely unfiltered and trashy.  It's hard to believe he's Martin Sheen's son.  I did find it hilarious when the Today Show asked him if it was true that he threatened to chop off his ex-wife's head and mail it to her mother.  His answer was "No, but that's a good one."  It does make me wonder how fucked up his ex-wife is that he had custody of the kids until the other nite.

Before conservatives take credit for Egypt, Tunisia, and Libya, let's get one thing straight.  This is not the Bush Doctrine in action.  The uprisings across the Middle East were going to happen either way.  Look at the demographics of the region.  In Egypt, the average age is 25.  Libya is 24.  Iran, two thirds are under 30 and a quarter is under 15.  Forty percent of Iraqis are under 14.  When you factor that in with old dictator after old dictator and cronyism in economies with no jobs, of course you are going to get protests.  This has nothing to do with people being emboldened by the Iraqi experience.  Let's not be so "AMERICA FUCK YEAH!" and be realistic.  The rest of the Middle East hated the US for the war in Iraq and their governments for supporting it.  Not to mention, there isn't even a real democracy in Iraq.  This was bound to happen with younger people who want to do better than they are right now and don't have the opportunity to do so.

What is really surprising is that these protests run counter to hundreds of years of history.  The Ottoman Empire, Saddam Hussein, Nasser through Mubarak, the Assad family, Shah of Iran, Supreme Council in Iran, the Saudi royal family, and Gadafhi.  All are dictators and oppressive regimes.  When Saddam was toppled in Iraq, the Iraqis were saying that Saddam was a bad guy and they hated him, but at least he kept order.  Order and stability have been the hallmarks of the governments in the Middle East.  That is why what is going on is so fascinating.  This never happens in the Middle East.  The media should be talking more about that, and less about stupid shit like the royal wedding.

Which reminds me, who in America gives a fuck about the royal wedding?  And why?  At the risk of sounding like a Republican, we didn't fight a war to still be worshipping the royal family of England!  But seriously, they aren't our royal family so why does it matter?  Americans don't watch every other nation's royal weddings, so why are Britain's so important?  And the thing that really gets me is that America has a President that you always hear is supposed to be respected and treated like the highest official in the country, but you get morons saying that the President wasn't born in the country and was raised in Kenya and hates America.  I'm not saying everybody has to like the President or agree with him.  I'm just saying that people in America think that the royal family is something special and not just a product of inbreeding.  Hey, why else would they all be hemophiliacs?

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